yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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