I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
