im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
