it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
