dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
