He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My balls are so social today.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
