Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
