when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
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So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
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Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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