Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
