So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
