Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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