I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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