He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Let's get the cat blown out
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
