Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
