it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
