we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
