i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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