Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
