:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
