take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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