there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
