remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize