so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
