I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
