btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
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with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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