just come out here and I will go home with you...
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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