glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
