There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Fuck appropriateness.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
