HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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