it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
