just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
