ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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