I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
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i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
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Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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