He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
