Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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