Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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