If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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