Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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