How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
