I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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