i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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