Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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