She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
