I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
