My brain says no but my pants say off.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
it's like heaven, but drunker
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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