I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
