Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
