he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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