they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
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i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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