You're earring is so big in my mouth
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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