I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
