you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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