I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
