We need to rekindle our bromance
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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