You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
