I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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