now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize