I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
