Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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