Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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