it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
