I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
