Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
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Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
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for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
And then he peed in my hair
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