i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
