he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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